Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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