This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
