I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
