I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
