im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
