i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Four minutes until I can fart!
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Randomize
