I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
