Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
