Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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