I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You're a waste of cheezeits
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
