Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i will never coherently bang her
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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