Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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