I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
