Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Randomize
