He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
