Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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