hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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