After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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