five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
