i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
