Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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