My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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