Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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