does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
