I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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