just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
