Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I AM VODKA MAN
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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