He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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