Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
