i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
