i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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