my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
