Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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