We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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