I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
