So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
