I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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