Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
