And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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