was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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