Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
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