he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
