you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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