All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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