The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
