the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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