I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
