Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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