I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I will be naked everywhere
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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