I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
