wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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