i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
